Fuck.
I had a childishly romantic dream about the person I'm crushing on just last night.
I dreamt that for some reason, she couldn't get her earbud in and threw it down in frustration. So I got up, walked up to her, gently touched the bottom-right of her jawline with two fingers so softly. I then carefully slipped the right earbud into her ear. We then looked into each others eyes, then I took her in my arms and kissed her for I don't even know how long, but a very long time. She then told me she knew how to put an earbud in, it was just a trick.
Later in the dream, it was the next day and one of my housemates was speaking of reeling her in. I said I already got her and they were all like "What?!". Adam then said that he would still try to get her in a dickish voice. Jake said "I knew you were doing something!" or something like that, because he seemed to suspect.
I can't remember anything else, but as I was starting to wake up, I really thought that I had got her and I was so extremely happy. Then I thought to myself "...it was just a dream...".
It all came crashing down.
My blissful delusion had crumbled i n t o s a n d .
Fuck.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Today Is A Good Day...And Tomorrow Will Be Better
The title to this is something written on the blackboard at my work by an officemate. My admirably cynical supervisor saw it and thought it was "too happy". I got a chuckle out of that.
Speaking of my supervisor, she gave me the movie "American Beauty". God, was I ever impressed by it. I mostly enjoyed the theme of beauty woven throughout the cynical, sad story. It really relates to how I feel about the mundane random things in the world. If I focus on anything for long enough, I can see its beauty, and I am thankful that I am a part of it all.
In other news, I'm almost done my journey through the book GEB (mentioned in an earlier post). God, it's amazing. It almost makes me want to go into AI research. Maybe it's plausible considering the author did physics, and then came to AI later in his life.
But then again, I'm not that smart. : \
Maybe me saying I'm not smart is actually making me less smart. In high school, I always knew I was one of the smartest, and I got really good grades. It's pretty obvious that if you have low expectations of yourself, then you won't be motivated.
The trade-off is that you become arrogant with self-confidence. It all comes down to working for myself vs. being nice to others (or more cynically, my self image as niceties are evolutionarily a selfish thing).
Anyhow, enough of this finite digress (I love infinite regress after reading GEB). On to the main topic that has to do with the title. I feel great!
Like really. I'm spending more time on myself, I'm making progress at work, I'm gonna rock this summer term, I'm spending lots of time with friends, and I've been crushing over this aforementioned chick a whole bunch. I'm just simply happy right now.
"Gd sht", as my one hipster physics friend would say.
Speaking of my supervisor, she gave me the movie "American Beauty". God, was I ever impressed by it. I mostly enjoyed the theme of beauty woven throughout the cynical, sad story. It really relates to how I feel about the mundane random things in the world. If I focus on anything for long enough, I can see its beauty, and I am thankful that I am a part of it all.
In other news, I'm almost done my journey through the book GEB (mentioned in an earlier post). God, it's amazing. It almost makes me want to go into AI research. Maybe it's plausible considering the author did physics, and then came to AI later in his life.
But then again, I'm not that smart. : \
Maybe me saying I'm not smart is actually making me less smart. In high school, I always knew I was one of the smartest, and I got really good grades. It's pretty obvious that if you have low expectations of yourself, then you won't be motivated.
The trade-off is that you become arrogant with self-confidence. It all comes down to working for myself vs. being nice to others (or more cynically, my self image as niceties are evolutionarily a selfish thing).
Anyhow, enough of this finite digress (I love infinite regress after reading GEB). On to the main topic that has to do with the title. I feel great!
Like really. I'm spending more time on myself, I'm making progress at work, I'm gonna rock this summer term, I'm spending lots of time with friends, and I've been crushing over this aforementioned chick a whole bunch. I'm just simply happy right now.
"Gd sht", as my one hipster physics friend would say.
Another Consciental Stream
Master of delusion
Sycophant of The Tree
The subconscious jest in you has made a puppet of me
Another stream of consciousness I had awhile back. Looking at it after the fact, maybe the puppet bit was somehow referring to how my ex had my emotions on strings. But merely subconsciously? I don't know, doesn't really make sense. The words just flow out and piece together.
Sycophant of The Tree
The subconscious jest in you has made a puppet of me
Another stream of consciousness I had awhile back. Looking at it after the fact, maybe the puppet bit was somehow referring to how my ex had my emotions on strings. But merely subconsciously? I don't know, doesn't really make sense. The words just flow out and piece together.
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