There's a lot of things I want to cover here. I suppose I'll start with the update:
I'm progressing well with getting over Gem, as I'm in a new, "friendship", with a person I will call Thunder. The name suits her for simple reasons: her hair colour, she came flying out of nowhere and we immediately got into what we are now, how impulsive she is, and I guess how "charged" she is.
Now for the reflections/confessions
The fun with Thunder has made me really curious as to why casual rebounds are helpful in emotionally getting over someone. Perhaps it is for some subtle, sexual reason, which I find disheartening because I'm very idealistic about love and its platonic/soul bond aspect. Well, whatever.
I've come to the realization that I'm a narcissist. I do get quite insecure sometimes, but more often then not, I am admiring many aspects of myself. When I look in the mirror, I see myself as quite attractive. I see myself as smarter than most people. I see myself as being able to charm. I see myself as sexually strong in bed. I see myself as emotionally genuine. Etc . I guess confidence is a good thing, but it makes me feel like an absolute dick. I can't really help it though, it's just the way I see myself.
So yes, I'm a narcissist.
The dream
I like recording dreams when I have them (which isn't very often), along with every mundane aspect of them. I don't see any strange significance in dreams, but perhaps I have some sort of superstition on some level. Anyhow, it's about a friend who passed away in the past. Seeing how he may appear again in this blog again at some point (or become a denizen of Praxis), I'll name him King. His hair is red, which reminded me of Crimson, which reminds me of Crimson King (the band).
The reality was alternate. Instead of passing away, King was merely in a coma, and had just come out of it. One of my friends was driving, while another, and King were passengers. King had shotgun. It was nighttime, I was standing outside the vehicle, and we were near pizza hut, about to set up a tent for some sort of musical tent. I reached through the passenger window, gave King and awkward hug, and said "thanks for sticking around". He was awkward about it too, so he just smiled at me. A bit later, I was setting up the tent, and King came over to me and started helping me out too. He then said "I'm happy I stuck around too", but it felt like he was trying to say something a lot profounder, and meant something different. I felt very confused about this.
I'm guessing that my knowledge of reality was getting jumbled up with my knowledge of the alternate reality, here. In reality, he had passed away, so him saying that he "stuck around" probably jived with reality, and resulted in that confusion, and latching on to him saying that, which resulted in the feeling of profoundedness. I don't know. Now that I type it, it seems like I jury-rigged some scraps of psychological logic together and a not too elegant way.
