So a lot has happened since my last touch with home base.
The girl I was crushing on a few months ago, I'm no longer crushing on. I lost interest in her, and realized she was actually sort of boring (at least at first glance). It was probably myself just trying to latch onto someone after losing my previous girlfriend.
But anyhow, I've found a new girl; one I did not even expect.
I'll refer to this girl as Gem from here on in. It hides her identity, it is short and easy to type. Mainly, it compactifies the beauty of her eyes. Her eyes are brown, which I normally see as somewhat boring, but they are different. When they catch the light they hit the same vibrant green that blue/green eyes do. I love her eyes.
I say she's unexpected because I've known her (more like "of her") for years. I've always seen her as ridiculously beautiful, but never really saw much in her from afar. I always assumed she was unintelligible, and maybe boring.
How wrong was I? Beautifully wrong. I've never been happier to be this wrong.
She wants to go into aerodynamics, and she's getting the same grades I did.
She's disciplined.
She's playful.
She's animated.
She's infectious.
She's ridiculously gorgeous.
I feel so damn shy around her that now I feel depressed that I didn't do more to progress our relationship last time we hung out. Talking here helps alleviate this somewhat though.
Depression ---transhappify ---> love-doped
In the back of my mind resides the cold, numbing fact that it'll probably not last once it does take off. There are plenty who are better than me, who she'll be exposed to once she enters university. And she'll be busy with her studies, away from me. It'd be more long-distance than my last serious relationship.
But I know this is the cost of love, and I can't resist her anyhow. I'll sponge up as much time as I can with her, while I can, and enjoy every moment until it falls apart.
"I need you so much closer........" - Transatlanticism by Death Cab For Cutie
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